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With all the articles that fill our social media feeds and phones, asking your date what they’ve read lately — and what moved them — is a great icebreaker. “So stand out and compliment their style, their swagger, their shoes, earrings, jacket, or whatever really gave you a positive first impression." Plus, then it will lead to other stories and questions, such as telling you about the flea market where they got the ring or how they went to every cool T-shirt shop in L. to track down this one vintage shirt — have you been to any of those shops?
“Find out what interests and inspires your date by asking about their last great read, whether it’s an article or a book,” Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of What is your date wearing that stands out? Everyone’s probably traveled at some point, whether it was road trips during their childhood or jetting to Europe after high school.
If you met online, an easy go-to icebreaker is asking your date about something specific from their dating profile.
“Being sincerely interested about something that caught your eye on their dating profile can show your date that you are intrigued and want to know more,” J. Kirkwood, certified relationship coach and author of , tells Bustle.
But, by reminding yourself of the person you’re meeting, it’ll help you when it comes time to conversation-starters and icebreakers, too.
If you’re stumped on what to talk about on a first date — but don’t want the conversation to seem forced either — here are some icebreakers you can use.
“Remembering a fun time and sharing that with a new person is a great way to learn insight about a date,” says.
“Then, allow their answer to lead into your story about your last concert — share what you liked about the music and whether you bought indoor or outdoor tickets, packed a cooler for a picnic, Everyone spends their free time differently, and when you ask your date what they’d do with a spontaneous day off, you can learn a lot about them.
"Believe it or not, some singles show up on dates who suffer a temporary loss in memory, and don’t remember their date’s name or what they look like.” She says that this can be embarrassing and will signal that you’re either a serial dater or one who doesn’t care much about the date you’re going on.“Their answer alone can trigger a whole new set of conversations to be had, now and in the future.”Hall, too, believes asking your date where they’d like to travel makes for a great icebreaker.“Dream destinations can give you a great peek into someone’s lifestyle, goals, and is a good conversation-starter,” she says.“Now, depending on when it is in the week, their day might involve weekly errands and chores, catching up on a personal project (taxes, anyone?), or a weekend day-drinking with friends,” Thomas Edwards, founder of The Professional Wingman, tells Bustle.