When a guy says you are intimidating
I spent so much time in school because it made sense for me — for my skill set, my interests, and my career path. I am 100k in debt; my student debt will negatively impact my life forever.I would never advocate someone getting themselves into a similar situation unless it truly made sense for themselves and their career goals.But, I guess one thing I hadn’t considered is that prior to my dissertation, I didn’t really talk about some of this stuff with men I was just meeting.I would talk about my job if they asked, and maybe mention some of my volunteer projects, but I didn’t really specifically mention my degree.I was making progress, and I wanted to talk about it.I wanted to share my excitement with guys I was meeting, and I also wanted to explain why my free time was limited.Pride in the fact that I finished my degree before age 30, which wasn’t even really a specific goal I had, but I just think it’s cool to say.
I don’t expect men to have had the same educational path as I have had.He insisted he meant it as a compliment, and it’s quite possible he did. It feels like all the comments that men have been making about my degree the last year. Men left and right are assuming that I won’t want to be with them because I’m too smart, too accomplished, too whatever.It frustrates me so much because I feel like I ALREADY have a hard time finding guys that I am into and who are also into me, and now I feel like I have even fewer options because people are making assumptions about me or people find my opinions “intimidating.” Lately, it feels like men take the things I’m most proud of about myself or respect most about myself and use it as reasons not to date me.Maybe women have made them feel bad for not having a degree.I can chalk it up to their past experience; I can remind myself that it isn’t truly about me.
It was irrelevant to anything I would be talking about with new men.