Rules for dating in islam
For the most part, we ‘arrange’ ourselves with people that we meet at university, work, social events, online or through our own married friends. I didn’t accidentally use the word ‘interrogate’ there. My friends were amazed at what I knew within two weeks of meeting my husband. While we’re hanging out and getting to know each other, there are really strict rules. It’s to ensure that we’ve got our parents onside so that when things get serious (lol… The idea is to use strong negotiation skills to get our parents to agree before they meet the potential spouse. The groom tells his parents not to be freaks and they head over.
We tend to meet in public only – somewhere public enough that we’re not alone, but not public enough that a random nosy aunt can spot you and call your parents to tell them of your horrible indiscretions. When the families meet, there is the inevitable small talk.
Arranged marriages Many people assume that all Muslims are ‘arranged.’ Sure, some people are arranged – but this can mean different things.
In some instances, it involves your parents introducing you to someone – kinda like old school online dating where you’re matched for compatibility and then decide whether there’s something there after you actually talk and spend time together.
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ROMANCERomance, if not checked, may mean wasting time, effort and dignity. Besides, the concept of love in Islam is very unique, when a Muslim loves something or somebody, it must be for the sake of Allah; the same applies to hatred.
Married life has been amazing and although I know y’all are going to tell me that I’m just in the honeymoon period – that’s fine! Getting married also means that I can tell you all about the nuances of Muslim ‘dating’ and marriage and relationships in general.
The payment – whether gold, cash, or some other gift – is usually determined by the bride and her family. Sadly, there are a lot of situations where people forced to choose between their partners and their families and end up losing one or the other. Yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage.Romance and love simply do not result in an everlasting bond between two people. What is the Islamic ruling for a Muslim boy and a Muslim girl, who go to the same college and they are deeply in love and want to be together? Or does Islam forbid the normal relationships we have in today’s world? Also, what if the parents of the girl have already selected another man for her to marry, but she doesn’t want him to be her husband, she wants the one who she already loves?The romantic notions that occupy the mind of young people often have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved.
In most cases, romance and love die out very quickly when couple find themselves with the real world.