Is val kilmer dating anyone
BAT-VAL enters the CONTROL ROOM to find NICOLE and CHRIS suspended over a WATERY GRAVE! Which hostage would you sacrifice to save the other? That sounds more like a rhetorical question than anything. What the hell happened to your "No killing Tommy" stance?
You're alone, you're beaten up and your weapon is over there- (captured anyway) OH COME ON!!!
VAL KILMER Odd, Tommy was so keen to kill me last time.
STATELY KILMER MANOR VAL KILMER confides in his butler, MICHAEL GOUGH. NICOLE arrives at the MANOR, but so do JIM and TOMMY! They trash the BATCAVE and kidnap NICOLE, but leave VAL alive! (reads) "I've kidnapped Nicole, which pretty much screws her, and you can't even find her, because you're a LLLLL-OSERRRRR! VAL KILMER Well, it's a good thing they didn't destroy the Batboat or Batplane, despite their hideout being on an island.
NICOLE KIDMAN Sorry Bat-Val, but I really need to seduce the murderous vigilante I met for twelve seconds.
Ra's Al Ghul could be burning down half the city right now.
WAYNE ENTERPRISES - RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT JIM CARREY kidnaps his boss to perform experiments on him. But also his self-destructive psyche sexually arouses me, so I must pursue him at great risk to myself and others. Someone who clearly doesn't want to be with me, who has long pointed ears and a cape. (beat) Not too sure why I'm on a date with you now, if that's the case. (beat) Eh, I'll just start beating people up as Bruce Wayne. Who just causally drops something like that in conversation? If you stay with me I'll give you one of my motorcycles. TOMMY LEE JONES (is Jim Carrey) Who the hell are you? I just stitched myself a supervillain persona from the bobblehead on my desk!
NICOLE KIDMAN Well, the real reason is so we can have Clark Kent/Superman/Lois Lane love triangle-style shenanigans. TOMMY LEE JONES If one of you chumps doesn't admit to being Bat-Val in the next two minutes, I'm going to blow up this entire circus! How am I going to slip out and change into Bat-Val? VAL KILMER Well, I just don't approve of seeking vengeance! JIM CARREY (is less Jim Carrey than before, disappointingly) Did someone say...questions?
Be sure to use your machine guns when Bat-Val is sheltering behind something, but throw them away when he's uncovered and fight him in melee combat! MOST ANNOYING GUY IN THE UNIVERSE Omigodomigodomigod this vault is filling with acid! I've got one personality that's a hammy, laughing, unspeakably evil bastard, and another personality that's a hammy, laughing, unspeakably evil bastard! TOMMY accidentally crashes his helicopter against the STATUE OF LIBERTY, which Gotham has? BAT-VAL I guess if Gotham can have Wall Street in "The Dark Knight Rises" it can also have the Statue of Liberty. WAYNE ENTERPRISES - RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT VAL KILMER is inspecting the new projects, and meets JIM CARREY: JIM CARREY (is Jim Carrey) Ohmygodohmygodohmygod it’s Val! I invented this super cool machine that beams television directly into a person’s brain!
(pushes boss into conveniently-placed waterfall) Time to go batshit crazy. I'm going to start by leaving Val Kilmer riddles, despite the fact that I don't decide on the Riddler persona for another thirty minutes. NEWS BROADCAST NEWSREADER And now a ten-second recap of Tommy Lee Jones's origin story, because the most interesting thing about Two-Face is the part we skim over. Someone who was connected with a recent death at your company that you yourself said was really suspicious? NEON GOTHAM CITY TOMMY LEE JONES tries to murder BAT-VAL, but he drives his entire BATMOBILE up the side of an apartment building with a grappling hook! They use the STOLEN MONEY to market JIM'S LAVA LAMP invention, so they can put one in every GOTHAM HOME. This Gotham set looks like someone turned an ultraviolet light on a one-hundred-clown orgy. CHRIS O'DONNELL (zero to livid in two seconds) I HATE YOU BAT-VAL!!! VAL KILMER Didn't you develop that under contract with us?
Someone who appeared highly volatile and was engaging in research that you cancelled for being morally questionable? By morning everyone's going to know you have some kind of connection to Bat-Val. VAL KILMER Okay, everyone with no sex drive or revenge fantasies is sure to check out that. TOMMY LEE JONES I know the plan was to subtly scan the partygoer's minds for secrets about Bat-Val, but goddammit I just can't do subtle. (fires twin bazookas) TOMMY'S THUGS shoot at BAT-VAL, drop him fifty feet into a construction site, blow him up, set him on fire, crush him under scaffolding, and bury him alive. NICOLE KIDMAN Yeah, I mean I did ask to see you at this exact time.
We just came off two of the darkest Batman movies ever.
BAT-VAL Actually Batman has been marketed to children pretty consistently for decades, so all you're saying is that you don't know Batman. But is it really that bad that Batman gets a movie entirely aimed at children?
BAT-VAL Then you should know I've murdered lots of people in the previous movies.